how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Randomize
