Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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