Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
