Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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