She's JV to your varsity
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
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