he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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