ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
