that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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