So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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