So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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