Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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