Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
