I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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