your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
