weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
