I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Randomize