I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
