yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
