just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
