I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
