you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
