For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
you told grandpa to call you daddy
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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