Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
