We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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