Whod you bang
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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