so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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