Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My cat gives me a boner
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Randomize
