before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
