Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
