On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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