Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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