i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
