He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
so much tequila, so little girl.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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