I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
