Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
