Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
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