At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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