I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
