apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize