he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
