i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
