Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
