Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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