Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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