It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
