On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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