I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
