i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
