My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
