i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
