She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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