mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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