Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
