she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize