just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
