Ambien. No doubt about it.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
