how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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