Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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