Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize
