Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
