im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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