the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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