dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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