i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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