is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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