Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
