I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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