A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
