I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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