Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
