You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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