went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
