If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
time to smoke my breakfast
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
