you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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