just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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