i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
