Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
wow bdsm is so cute
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