it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
